After meeting with my plastic surgeon today (Dr. Beth Bergman) we decided that if I have a mastectomy, my best bet would be to have a tissue expander inserted at the time of surgery. She told me there would be drains and I knew this. I told her I had an image of drains being duct-taped to my body as I'm student teaching. She told me that when you have drains, you are not supposed to work. I asked how long the drains are there and she said they could be there as long as three weeks depending on how many there are (1 or 2). But with the added tissue expander in there, the healing would take a little longer and I would be tired and wouldn't want to work for that long anyway.
There is still a small chance that I will have a lumpectomy. Otherwise, I think I'm going to have to put off school until January. This makes me a little anxious as I was really wanting to get student teaching out of the way. I would rather student teach, graduate, have my certificate and then wait to get a job until next fall, then take a break and have to student teach. It is my fear that I'm going to forget a lot before January if it's not fresh in my head. While student teaching there are many projects/reports that must be completed for certification. I'm scared I'll forget how to do them and by then my fellow-students will have jobs and will have forgotten themselves. This makes me rather sad.
But I just don't know if I should attempt it with the surgery recovery, tissue expansion, and chemo. So here lies my problem. Before I call ISU, I'm going to wait until Tuesday when the oncologist gives me all my test results and we choose a surgery and treatment. The waiting is starting to drive me a little nuts.
In case you are wondering what a tissue expander is, it's basically a balloon that is inserted in your chest muscle and "blown up" with saline a little bit at a time over a period of months to expand the tight skin and make it ready for an implant. Here's a visual:
Yes, I could have the surgery and wear a prosthesis until January and then have the expander put in. But if I have radiation treatments, my skin will be even tighter and reconstruction becomes more difficult.
I just don't know what to do and it's really bothering me. I just want someone to tell me what to do and if I can go to school or not.
5 comments:
I understand you are worried. I promise the job will always be there. They have jobs now they cannot fill. You will have your choice. I also promise to help you through all of the projects. You will be surprised how much you remember.
You have the right plan. Waiting until Tuesday! In the mean time you should go to fasfa.gov (or whatever) and look up the rules on student loans and such and be informed so when you call ISU you will know your choices on aid!
In the mean time, your health is all I care about and school will always be there.
And look on the bright side, there is always cosmetology school :)
First and foremost your health is what really matters. Take care of yourself! I know you wanted to get finished with the student teaching but if you don't feel good while trying to work you are going to get frustrated and stressed out. That isn't what you need right now. I think you are wise in waiting till you meet again next week to make a decision about school and have everything lined up with your health care. Like Jill said, the jobs will be there when you are finished so don't worry about that. I will also help you all I can with the projects so let that be the least of your concerns right now. You are what is most important to all of us!!!
I definitely have to give it up to you for your ambition. Like you said, you have a great support system. You're friends are right, it's best to take care of your health first and then school and teaching positions will be there when you are better. You will remember more than you are giving yourself credit for.
Do try and take some time out for yourself...go to the spa or get your nails done or something, just to take your mind off of all the waiting. That's the worst....waiting. Once you get all the results back, then you can make an informed decision about what procedure and treatment you want to make.
Ah, you're worrying over nothing! You're a way smart chick, and deep down you know you won't forget anything. Once you get back into the swing of your schooling, it'll all come flooding back to you. Think back to some of the teachers you had when you were a wee one--did any of them seem to REALLY know what they're doing? From my experiences behind the desk, I've realized that no matter how much you prepare for a day's lesson, it usually never goes like you plan...unless you show a movie, and there's really nothing that can F that up other than equipment problems. You've been working hard these past few years, so maybe your boobs are telling you you need to take a break for a little bit. Like other people have said, there will ALWAYS be a need for teachers, especially in your field of study, so that's something that shouldn't even be a concern. I know you're anxious to get the preliminary stuff out of the way, but you'll be surprised how fast the time will go. The important thing is to take care of yourself--you won't be doing yourself or your students any good by attempting to conduct a full day's class when you're feeling like total poo--TRUST ME!!!
Denna,
Cathy shared with me your situation and sent me to your blog. I am very sorry to here this.
As everyone is saying the most important thing is your health. The job will be there later. I understand how eager you are to get finished, as we all are. Take care of yourself first though.
You will have a support group to get you through the projects and your last semester. I too am willing to help you out.
Let me know if there is anything I can do!
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
sincerely,
Tammy Durfee
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